Real Talk: 3 Things I Learned From Planning MyBigFatPakistaniWedding

1. Weddings  are expensive. Like crazy  expensive. The word wedding is the industy’s cue to up their price points! How do you combat this? A budget  is a good place to start. Listing  every single  expense that  you  can think of for the wedding, and the estimated cost beside it in an excel sheet, will quickly give you an idea of how things add up. The easiest way to lower costs is to lower the number  of guests, because venue  costs are based on a per person charge and so more people = more money. Of course  that has its own challenges to sell family on inviting  less guests  but  it’s definitely  my # 1 reccomendation to keep costs down! The second, which  I’ve  talked about  how in retrospect I would have  done, is doing a two day event: 1 mehndi  and 1 shaadi/reception combined, with costs split down the middle. Again, the idea may not be loved by our parent’s generation, but I think  the next generation  of weddings are going to do this more and more!

2. There will be some things that you can’t control. And trust me, I tried. With my type A, detail oriented, neurotic personality, I planned for everything on my shaadi day, but despite  my best efforts, there were things  I couldn’t  control: namely the imam going on a rant (grr) and people talking during speeches (the worst). What I was terrible  at, but will advise  you to  try to do, is that if things  aren’t  going  as you had imagined – smile. SMs fam gave him this advice  beforehand  and many of our pictures tell me I would  have benefited  from hearing  this  too lol. It’s way easier said than done, but remembr that when something  is happening that you don’t  like on your big day, looking  upset  is only going  to be  captured in the photographs  forever!

3. Afterwards, try to let any imperfections go. I put a lot of time, thought, effort any energy  into planning MBFPW and so the things that did go wrong bothered  me for quite a while. (It’s been over a year and the thought  of our imam still irks me!). But the advice  I’d give  you, and myself, is that  you have to take a deep breath and let it go. My momma said it best when  I was sulking  about  the things that  bothered me: “Your shadi was beautiful, don’t worry about what didn’t happen, look to the future with your handsome husband. Be always happy. Mashallah you have lovely family.”

Ameen 🙂