“You should really have kids now.” If I had a nickel for every time someone has said this to me in the last two years that I’ve been married…we could have been reimbursed for the damn wedding itself lol.
Brides, don’t you just love the fact that when you sent your wedding invitations, you basically also issued an an open invitation to everyone and their mom to give you unsolicited advice on family planning?! The operative word being: UNSOLICITED. (Brides-to-be: now you know).
How to deal?! I remember the day after my wedding my cousin sat me down and said, “now listen, a lot of people are going to ask you, “koi habbar?” (translation: any news?), and you just reply: “Jab Allah dayga” (translation: When God gives). And yes, that’s a super classy response. But when someone tells me, “You should really have babies now” I can feel my blood boil. And the reply that I feel like giving…well it’s anything but classy!
I think Emily Bingham, a 33-year-old freelance journalist, said it perfectly:
“You don’t know who is struggling with infertility or grieving a miscarriage or dealing with health issues. You don’t know who is having relationship problems or is under a lot of stress or the timing just isn’t right. You don’t know who is on the fence about having kids or having more kids. You don’t know who has decided it’s not for them right now, or not for them ever. You don’t know how your seemingly innocent question might cause someone grief, pain, stress or frustration.”
To that I say: Amen, sister!
Related: 12 Women With Perfect Responses for Why They Don’t Have Kids